36 Rules for Women to Live By....

SmokeFan14 · 07-07-2008, 12:23 AM

36 Rules For Women To Live By (From the Men)
So true, so true, women take note

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1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.

2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

3. Don't make us guess.

4. If you ask a question for which you don't want an answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."

7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

8. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the seasons. Let it be.

10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.

11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

12. You have enough clothes.

13. You have too many shoes.

14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

15. Your brother is an idiot, your exboyfriend is an idiot, and your Dad probably is too.

16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

17. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar and leave a note a week before on the bathroom mirror.

18. Share the bathroom.

19. Share the closet.

20. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.

21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

23. Check your own oil.

24. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

25. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

26. It is in neither your interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

27. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

28. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect to act like soap-opera guys.

29. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

30. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how much prettier you are?

31. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

32. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both.

33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

34. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

35. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

36. When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the offramp, your saying, "This is our exit," is not strictly necessary.

wopher · 07-07-2008, 05:03 AM

I have my notes ha! ha! ha!

!. So what if I have 300 pairs of shoes and I kick a pair off as soon as I get home, if you had not had that last beer you would not have tripped over them......

2. SHARE the closet you have your own in the guest bedroom!

3. I do check my own oil and can change it too!

4. If I ask an opinion on what I wear I want the truth not BS!

5. Look at all the other women you want and HEY! if thy want you I will pack your bags and have them DELIVERED to HER HOUSE

6. That dayum Genie refuse to come out .....

7. DON'T FAKE IT! well all I have to say about that is do it RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

Now the rest of them are petty so this is all I have to say LMAO

wopher · 07-07-2008, 05:05 AM

Oh yea THAT IS MY KITTY KITTY so you don't want to go there baby!

If you had rather pet the dog go for it LOL

Raven · 07-07-2008, 07:32 AM

Good ones wopher! You tell 'em!

wopher · 07-07-2008, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by Raven

Good ones wopher! You tell 'em!

MEN

blueyedfairy_1 · 07-07-2008, 08:24 AM

Wopher you made me choke on my coffee!!!

wopher · 07-07-2008, 08:41 AM

SORRY HOPE UR OK!

SmokeFan14 · 07-07-2008, 09:26 AM

I see y'all got my wake-up call,eh?

wopher · 07-07-2008, 09:28 AM

Did you get mine CHARLEY!

24girl · 07-07-2008, 10:04 AM

Good notes wopher

Charley,you know us girls gotta stick together--just like you MEN!!

07-07-2008, 12:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
SmokeFan14 New & Improved! Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,084	36 Rules for Women to Live By.... 36 Rules For Women To Live By (From the Men) So true, so true, women take note ← prev \| 1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down. 2. Don't cut your hair. Ever. 3. Don't make us guess. 4. If you ask a question for which you don't want an answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it. 6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship." 7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat. 8. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period. 9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the seasons. Let it be. 10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time. 11. Anything you wear is fine. Really. 12. You have enough clothes. 13. You have too many shoes. 14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. 15. Your brother is an idiot, your exboyfriend is an idiot, and your Dad probably is too. 16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. 17. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar and leave a note a week before on the bathroom mirror. 18. Share the bathroom. 19. Share the closet. 20. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers. 21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 23. Check your own oil. 24. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do. 25. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. 26. It is in neither your interest nor ours to take the quiz together. 27. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. 28. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect to act like soap-opera guys. 29. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 30. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how much prettier you are? 31. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. 32. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both. 33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 34. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. 35. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. 36. When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the offramp, your saying, "This is our exit," is not strictly necessary. __________________ Lewis Black on Soy Milk: There’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy juice. But they couldn’t sell soy juice, so they called it soy milk. Because anytime you say soy juice, you actually start to gag… We all know why there’s no soy milk, don't we? Because there’s no soy titty, is there? I was always told that in order to have milk, you must have breasts, and I have yet to see a soy bean with breasts! "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You put 4 wheels on a cockroach and Tony Stewart will find a way to win with it." - Mike Joy

07-07-2008, 08:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
blueyedfairy_1 VIP Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Upstate SC Posts: 3,779	Wopher you made me choke on my coffee!!! __________________

07-07-2008, 09:26 AM	#8 (permalink)
SmokeFan14 New & Improved! Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,084	I see y'all got my wake-up call,eh? __________________ Lewis Black on Soy Milk: There’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy juice. But they couldn’t sell soy juice, so they called it soy milk. Because anytime you say soy juice, you actually start to gag… We all know why there’s no soy milk, don't we? Because there’s no soy titty, is there? I was always told that in order to have milk, you must have breasts, and I have yet to see a soy bean with breasts! "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You put 4 wheels on a cockroach and Tony Stewart will find a way to win with it." - Mike Joy

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07-07-2008, 05:03 AM	#2 (permalink)
wopher Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,178	I have my notes ha! ha! ha! !. So what if I have 300 pairs of shoes and I kick a pair off as soon as I get home, if you had not had that last beer you would not have tripped over them...... 2. SHARE the closet you have your own in the guest bedroom! 3. I do check my own oil and can change it too! 4. If I ask an opinion on what I wear I want the truth not BS! 5. Look at all the other women you want and HEY! if thy want you I will pack your bags and have them DELIVERED to HER HOUSE 6. That dayum Genie refuse to come out ..... 7. DON'T FAKE IT! well all I have to say about that is do it RIGHT THE FIRST TIME Now the rest of them are petty so this is all I have to say LMAO

07-07-2008, 05:05 AM	#3 (permalink)
wopher Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,178	Oh yea THAT IS MY KITTY KITTY so you don't want to go there baby! If you had rather pet the dog go for it LOL

07-07-2008, 07:32 AM	#4 (permalink)
Raven Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 387	Good ones wopher! You tell 'em!

07-07-2008, 08:41 AM	#7 (permalink)
wopher Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,178	SORRY HOPE UR OK!

07-07-2008, 09:28 AM	#9 (permalink)
wopher Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,178	Did you get mine CHARLEY!

07-07-2008, 10:04 AM	#10 (permalink)
24girl 4-Time Champion Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: SUNSHINE STATE Posts: 4,218	Good notes wopher Charley,you know us girls gotta stick together--just like you MEN!!

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