![]() |
|
|||||||
| Notices |
| Jokes and Humor(R) Post all your other jokes and humor with an R rating in here, away from the young ones. |
![]() |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
|
#1 (permalink) |
|
New & Improved!
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,084
|
A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy anniversary Mum and Dad," rushed son number one. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient. You know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift." "Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today." Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mum look great, Dad. I just flew in from Brisbane between court hearings and didn't have time to shop for you." "It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come." Just then the son #3 arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything." Again the father said, "I really don't care. At least the five of us are together today." After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much but we just never found the time to get married." The three children gasped and said, "You mean we're bastards?" "Yes," said the father. "And cheap ones, too."
__________________
Lewis Black on Soy Milk: There’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy juice. But they couldn’t sell soy juice, so they called it soy milk. Because anytime you say soy juice, you actually start to gag… We all know why there’s no soy milk, don't we? Because there’s no soy titty, is there? I was always told that in order to have milk, you must have breasts, and I have yet to see a soy bean with breasts! "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You put 4 wheels on a cockroach and Tony Stewart will find a way to win with it." - Mike Joy |
|
|
|